27 May 2010

The Difference a Cake Can Make - Tamara Jolly explores the friendships formed, the experiences shared and the lessons we can all learn from the humble cake.

The Difference a Cake Can Make

I arrived in Malawi in August of 2006 to live and work at SOS children's village in Lilongwe. My role was to provide assessment and therapy for children with a wide variety of disabilities, while also training local rehabilitation staff to continue my role and together develop resources to ensure the sustainability of the program. Without any speech pathologists in a country of 13 million people and high rates of complex disabilities among children across the nation who have little access to rehabilitation services, it became clear that I wouldn't be bored.

Instantly falling in love with the warm heart of Africa and its people, the adventure of a lifetime began. I had many grand ideas and hopes and plans of what I would see, learn, share and achieve, as do all volunteers, it's the glue that sticks us together with a desire to make a difference. So it makes me smile now as I reflect upon these past few years as I would never have imagined that out of everything I had experienced, making hundreds of cakes would be one of my biggest achievements. One of the greatest lessons I learned, was how to cook a cake!

My first cake in Malawi was a momentous occasion, Although rather than celebrate my fantastic chocolate cake I broke down in tears realizing how alone I was without anyone to share my cake. So with a hot steaming chocolate cake in hand and tears streaming down my face I ventured outside in the warm Malawi night and stood outside hoping to find someone to eat with. It didn't take long to find people and the cake quickly disappeared. That night I made a decision to take a risk and make myself vulnerable. I couldn't become a part of the community by staying in my house and eating a cake alone. I started making many more cakes, each time finding someone new to share the cake with, and so began my cake adventures.

What started as a simple hobby to fill the many long evenings, soon became a cake making frenzy with up to 9 cakes being made some weeks. The cake became a catalyst. I learnt that cakes are great ways to encourage attendance at meetings. Birthday cakes built friendships, they made celebrations special and created opportunities to meet with people, and break down barriers. Cooking sessions became fun gatherings to share recipes and most importantly share life with people, whom I had previously very little in common with.

The lessons I learnt are far less about the cake itself, and far more about what the action symbolized for me in my community, in achieving my project goals and for developing life long friendships.

Firstly. no recipe is required. The rules are different and so are the ingredients. A recipe that works in Australia, should not be depended upon. This is true of both cake making and completing goals in your workplace. It takes creativity, flexibility and patience to make the best "cake", whatever that may be. Secondly, the simple strategies are often the best. While a fancy gluten free, low GI, almond and orange poppy seed cake may be your preferred selection at home, such complexity may not be appreciated. Not only will the ingredients be hard to locate or of questionable quality, it may not be what people want, or need. How easily we complicate our lives, and how easily we as volunteers can complicate our jobs by trying to replicate things that we have seen work in Australia, often without first watching, listening and learning from the locals who often know best. Sometimes the most simple strategies are the most powerful. The enjoyment rarely came from the flavor of the cake, but always from the enjoyment and the celebration of sharing in each others company.

Some people can live for years in Australian culture without ever knowing their neighbours much less ever take them a freshly baked cake for no reason at all. Becoming a part of the community, developing lasting friendships and making cakes were the foundation for the successes that followed in my project. Regardless of the difference in culture, language or lifestyle, doing something kind and thoughtful for another person is universal and crosses all of these barriers.

Creating an environment where I could sit and chat and laugh and indulge in abundant quantities of chocolate cake may just be a far greater legacy than many of the "tasks" I achieved, as it was through the friendships formed that I had the privilege to encourage people, through the conversations that these moments created that we could plan and motivate one another, and that will hopefully contribute to the sustainability of those tasks achieved by the friendships and community that was formed.

It's not all about the cake, its about the principal. For every person there may be something different to do, but there will always be something that will create a connection and opportunities to build friendships. Its crazy not to take the chance!

"We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee." - Marian Wright Edelman.