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A WAY OF FINDING PEACE 邁向心靈寧靜之路 蕭輔民 Frank Hsiao It has been a long time since I planned to write some articles to share my experience of finding peace in USA. But I didn't have time to calm down to write it. I am not arrogant to try to write it in English, but this article is a combination of some letters I mailed to my supervisor in MBA when I studied English in USA. Sometimes it is difficult to translate it to Chinese well, so I decided to write it in English. The reason I want to write this article is just like to share the cherished goods with my friends, you can't just hind them for yourself. Everyone has the different fate, so they have the different experience and wisdom. I think that emotion is like a wave. We help each other just like the merging of two waves. If the waves are absolutely opposite, they will become even, peace, when they come across. It makes me change a lot, I can say that it is my turning point in my life. In the past I am an easily angry, stubborn, chauvinism person, but now I change a lot of opinions and behaviors. Although I still have a lot of bad habits, I know I am on the way of going forward to a perfect person and I, compared to the past, don't suffer so much. For example, I got angry many times one day in the past, but now I can be so proud to say that I just got angry one time and calmed down in ten minutes in the past seven months. I took my old aged classmate's advice to improve my English and enlarge my vision when I was young, so I had been to USA for eight months. I just planned to learn English, not only English but also the experience of peace I learned. The experience of peace is even cherished because it affects my whole life. Do you know the reason why I will try to find "peace"? Because I don't want to be influenced any more by others who maybe a stranger on the street. In our culture, education always asks us to think about others, we emphasize on others' opinions too much and are easily influenced by others. I hate the feelings, I want to live freely. No one can make you feel anything, it is your choice what to feel. Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me. If you can find peace, you can ask your mind to stop thinking. It will be possible for you to go to bed and fall asleep in ten seconds without a hammer. How fantastic it is! The proverb says, " seeing is believing". What is your opinion? Is it right? Of course not! Can you understand the reason? Now it has to be changed to " You will see it when you believe it. Because 99 percentage of you is invisible, untouchable, and you have to explore that part to find the true you. Let it out! You can understand the culture well only when you actually are involved in it. So I've found many different ways in daily life and I think they are better. For example, I thought I would try to find a wife who can cook well in the past, but now I think Human Beings eat for living but not live for eating. It doesn't matter what you eat if it can satisfy your hunger. It is so stupid to waste so much time on cooking and women are so poor in our country, we have to cherish the valuable time to get along with our wives, kids or to relax, to listen to music, to go to the movies, to do some meaningful things. It is so difficult to find a lifelong partner who you can understand well. The truth that you think are true may not be true. So open your mind to accept other opinions. How can you learn new ideas if you use your old ways to judge them to select what you want? Everything is relative, it depends on someone's feelings. Maybe you think something should be something but why should it be. So stop judging and controlling, everyone has the right to choose his way. It is no use to force someone to accept something. The old proverb says: The teacher will appear when the student is ready! Give what they want instead of what you want to give to them! Give people what is really good for them instead of what you think is good. Forget control, let them chose by themselves. The only thing you can change is yourself. Anything outside of you is not really you, it may disappear in the next second. Don't put your happiness on it, you have to disconnect your happiness from everything. If you want to find peace, first you have to have strong desire, second you have to believe you can reach it, then practice it step by step with patience. When you are aware of the negative feelings, you have to kick them out and find some way to drain out the bad energy not just press it down because someday it will come out and become a big problem. Don't feel frustrated when you ask the negative feelings to go away but they come back immediately. It is normal, you have to learn, so don't lose your patience, otherwise you will feel worse. No problems exist outside us. The main problem is our idea that problems exit. Problem only exit in our minds. It is no use to worry about what you can't deal with for example who is the next President because it makes no sense. Don't worry about what has happened on you for example you lose your wallet, just do something to solve it. So why do you have so many worries? It is no use. Don't waste your time on worries, it only makes you crazy. Just do it, take some actions. The power of thought is unlimited, it controls everything. It can help us, it also can destroy us, depending on how we use it. For example we can increase the impulse of our heart just by thinking. We can have many feelings but never suffer if we can disconnect them. For example you have a headache, you feel pain from it. If you try to think another happy thought, the pain will disappear in a very short time. That is it. It means we will never suffer if we can extend the unthinking time. You may have the physical pain, but your mind will never suffer. It is very difficult but not impossible if you have strong desire and believe you can reach it and practice it every moment with patience. If you can stop or control your thinking, you will have nothing to worry about. It is no use for you to worry about the things you have no ability to do anything about. Just do it if you can solve the things you worry about! So you don't have to worry! Tomorrow may not come, don't let the past, the future control who you are now, think about what you can do and have to do now and do it immediately, for example you have to tell people you love them. Don't waste your time on judging, blaming and being angry. Just do something. |
