When I was a little girl, I found a poem I really liked. I cut it out, pasted it onto wood and shellacked it. Although I did not know it at the time, the words on this little plaque became one of my credos for life:

"There is a destiny that makes us brothers;
None goes his way alone:
All that we send into the lives of others
Comes back into our own."
~by Edwin Markham

　As I have aged, the words of that poem have proven to be so true over and over again. People I have meet in my life have helped to build the fabric that is "me"; and I have so clearly found that how we treat others generally is reflected in how we are treated in return.

　The impact of my actions was not fully understood until more recently, due to circumstances in my life. My husband and I are both highly educated and were focused on building a career. Thus, we married late in life. By the time we were married, I was unable to bear children through natural means. My husband and I talked and decided that there were so many children out there in the world who needed families, so we opted to adopt. I chose China. The process was long and drawn out. During the process, I went through pain of the death of my beloved Father and could not bear to get excited about the potential for an adoption in case something went wrong. But about 1.5 years after our paperwork was submitted, we were matched, with not one but TWO beautiful little twin Chinese girls. We had 24 hours to name them, based only on a picture and their given Chinese names. Their Chinese names, WeiShen and WeiLi, together meant strong, we were told. A month later, my husband and I were on our way for a two week stay in China to pick up our little girls, 15 months old.

　When we arrived in the city of Nanchang, where the girls were to be brought, we were taken to the government building to be handed our daughters. We waited a short while, and in walked nannies with 10 little girls, soon to find new homes. Ours were handed to us, in split pants with no diapers, crying. I was handed Shanna WeiShen and Don was handed Michelle WeiLi. Immediately, the two children began to bond to us, individually. However, when we got the girls back to our hotel room and had them get together for the first time, they looked at each other and just kind of pulled away...apparently they had been separated for over a year and either did not recognize each other or were afraid of what they remembered!

　We completed all of the paperwork, got to know the other adoptive families, and checked out through the American Embassy with our daughters. We took the long fight home, with one child, Michelle, crying part of the time. On one of the flights, Michelle was inconsolable. The WHOLE plane knew who we were. Michelle had frantically attached to my husband, Don, and did not want anyone else to come near her. And yet, even Don could not sooth her sometimes.

　We arrived in Los Angeles with two tired kids and two very tired new parents. We went to our home and began our life's journey together. The first few months were not easy. Michelle had numerous uncontrollable tantrums and rarely smiled. She took things away from her sister. We came to the conclusion that she was not in an entirely positive environment in China and was afraid of losing everything. Shanna was extremely shy, but she began to warm up and laugh a lot. She appeared to have been in a more loving environment in China.

　That was 6 years ago. The girls are now 7 years old. They are both happy, healthy and beloved by their school mates and teachers (and us!). Michelle's tantrums disappeared. We would like to think it is because she was in a loving, nurturing environment. Same goes for Shanna. She is now a caregiver and likes to help others, especially animals and babies. They excel in school and have many friends (including many adopted friends).

　I would like to believe that the positive changes we have seen in our daughters are in part due to our loving nature, showing them the respect they deserve, setting appropriate boundaries, and helping to build their confidence through activities and constant nurturing. We have however, not done this alone. Aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, friends and teachers have all contributed to the growth and development of these girls. We all do have an impact on each other's lives, be it ever so small or large.

　I am reminded of the Chinese belief of the "Red Thread". It states that when a child is born an invisible red thread connects that child's soul to all those people - present and in the future - who will play a part in that child's life. This is just like my childhood poem, that there is a destiny that connects us all. More now than ever before, after adopting these two beautiful girls, I believe and have seen evidence of this. Thus, I say to all who will listen, let us make certain that we treat each other with respect, kindness and acceptance of the good and the bad. Had we given up on our daughters because of some issue, they would not necessarily be the wonderful children they are now. We are all different, but that difference does not make us "wrong". I personally would love to see the world come to an acceptance of those differences. As individuals, we contribute to a bigger cause, the growth of our world. We may not visibly see the impact of our efforts, but they are there. Everyone can make a difference, no matter how big or small. Our daughters are living proof of this, thanks to many who take the time to ensure children of the world are cared for, loved and respected.